I write this blog on July 4, the anniversary of our great nation’s declaration of independence. 

On this auspicious day, I am preparing to undergo my first screening colonoscopy. Yes, that’s right, no BBQ or potato salad or ice cream for me this year. I’m enjoying some copious fluids. 

Mmmm…clear liquids!

Luckily, my office is close to my bathroom ;)

Yup, I’m 45 years old. And did you know that 45 is the age at which we are all supposed to start getting colon cancer screens of some type (sigmoidoscopy, colonoscopy, stool tests or CT colonography - ask your doctor which is best for you). 

I’m doing a colonoscopy because it’s the gold standard for colon cancer screening and apparently I might be at increased risk. You see, at my mammogram last year, UCLA asked if I’d be willing to participate in the WISDOM study (click here to join or learn more). I’m always down to further medical knowledge, so I opted in and was randomized to receive genetic testing, which I completed. They called me a few weeks later to review my results, which showed that while I don’t have BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutations, I do have a mutation in a tumor suppressor gene that increases my risk of breast and colon cancers. 

I’m thankful to know this, as it provides me the motivation I need to make sure I don’t delay scheduling the recommended screens each year. Many women (and men) delay the medical care they should be receiving. Especially in midlife, when we’re busy with work, kids, and parents, it’s easy to put it off.

But please, please don’t. I lost a good friend at age 35 to colon cancer, and my cousin lost a best friend (who was also a mom of three) to colon cancer. She was also in her 30s. Cancer sucks. But we have great screening technology. 

Let this be your wake up call - think about what you’re putting off. Is it a mammogram, colonoscopy, prostate exam, pap smear, dermatologist visit, dental check up - you know there’s probably something! Make a plan to schedule it this week. Get your friends to do it too. Put yourself first. It’s not selfish, it’s good for you and your loved ones (although, I will let you know, this isn’t really a lot of fun right about now, hold on….)

OK, I’m back. Anyway, scheduling your recommended health screens is love in action because it’s putting your health first, even though it’s inconvenient, so you can continue to take care of those you love most for as long as possible.  

This idea also aligns with something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. Namely, how do we prioritize our limited time in this life? I have a colleague, Ann Tsung, MD who is a NASA flight surgeon (what a cool job, right?) and an amazing productivity coach. Check out her podcast, The “It’s not rocket science!” Show, here.

She encouraged me to think about my “zones of genius” and prioritize my time on these things. I’ve also read about a similar approach of “core competencies”. The idea is the same with both phrases - none of us are good at all things, and it’s OK to just focus on those things we are best at, that bring us the most joy or that have the greatest impact on our lives or wealth, and outsource or minimize the rest.
Intellectually, this idea makes a lot of sense to me, but for my New Engander “DIY” mindset, it’s been an uphill battle to change my beliefs. My parents taught me “Why would you pay someone else to do something you could do yourself?” They believed that people who hired housekeepers or nannies or purchased pre-chopped vegetables were a) lazy and b) wasteful of money and c) had something to prove or were less “good” or “honest” than those who do things themselves. 

My Dad always changed the oil in our cars. My mom worked a job and cleaned our house, did our laundry, did the shopping, did all the cooking. To be fair, I think he really liked working with his hands, and loved cars, and it gave him some time away from us kids for a few hours to tinker in his garage, so it was probably self-serving in a way that me trying to change my oil would definitely not be. My mom could honestly have used a lot of help, there’s no doubt about it, but she shared the belief that doing it herself was what she “should” be doing. I remember there were a couple trials of a “cleaning lady” (like maybe my mom had hep twice a month for six months of the 18 years I lived with them), but both of my parents were so stressed about the idea of hiring someone to do something they “should” be doing themselves, that they made us all run around cleaning before she came. In my mind, this kind of defeated the purpose, but there was no arguing with them. 

It’s taken me a long time to realize that these beliefs of my parents were limiting beliefs. Because of these beliefs, they spent a ton of time stressing over things that kept them from having the time or energy to even think about what their “zones of genius” might have been. They were too busy changing oil and ironing shirts to ponder what bigger things they might have offered the world. 

I’ve shifted to a new belief, which is “I can serve the world best, and use my life’s energy in the most meaningful and impactful way, by focusing on those things that I alone can do and enlisting the help of others who are doing the same, but have complementary skill sets.”

This has started me thinking about all of the things on my “to do” list in three categories.

Category one: things only I can do. 

Examples:

Taking care of my health (like scheduling my colonoscopy, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, exercising), maintaining my relationships (make my husband feel loved and valued, spend time connecting with my kids, stay in touch with friends, make plans with family), creative pursuits like reading and generating the ideas I have for my business and thinking of where I want our next vacation to be. Training people to do category two tasks the way I want. Going through my family’s belongings periodically and deciding what to donate or get rid of. Networking with like minded people. 

Category two: things someone else could do for me if I paid or trained them.

Examples (this list is always growing): 

Plan healthy meals, shop for healthy meals, prepare healthy meals, clean my house, do my laundry, schedule my dogs for their grooming and take them to their grooming appointments, take donations to the donation center, maintain my professional social media accounts, edit my YouTube videos, post my blogs, pay my bills, shop for me, plan the vacation I want to take, order my kids’ lunches and uniforms, enter my kids’ activities in our family calendar, clean up my email accounts, make photo books from my google photos. 

Category three: things that I can just let go of/forget about/never do.

This has been the hardest for me. When my beloved grandmother died, she had a manila folder on her table that was labeled “Tomorrow, tomorrow”. Now I have a card on my Asana board that says the same. When I decide to let go of tasks, I put them here, to take them off my mind, while honoring that they were once an idea I had. 

It’s tough to say “no” to things, but eliminating tasks and saying no is an essential part of prioritizing the things that matter most to you. And the choice of what matters most to you is deeply personal and individual. Each of us has our own priorities, and these will change over our lifetimes. We are all on our own paths, and it’s important to keep this in mind as we interact with each other.